4th Excerpt from My Upcoming Memoir; “Everybody’s Secret: Confessions of the World’s Greatest Dominatrix and How the Sex Business Saved My Soul”
Chapter 1: The Game
I don’t even know when I first heard the word “Dominatrix”. I was doing it; domination even before I had ever heard the word or knew what it meant. “The Dominatrix Sleeps Tonight” was My favorite dance song in High School. It was the name of My first dog. And, as I would learn doing phones for escorts there was no sex in S&M calls. That lead to My first and only bad session. A session that would have ended most Domination careers that day.
It was the late 80’s and everyone was doing blow. So clients at the escort agency would stay up for days, seeing one girl after the next. Sometimes for 3 or 4 days straight. This was one of those calls. The client was on his third day and had been through maybe 10 or 15 Girls and we had just run out of Ladies to send him. It was an S&M call. The madam looked at Me and asked if I wanted to go. I figured, there’s no sex so what the heck, and I went.
I should have known not to go, when I saw the psychological state of the last Girl who had seen him. Christine in particular was not a fresh faced college girl like the others. She was a straight up ho’ with 10 years under Her belt. If She came back from the call unhinged, I should have known it would be a bad scene. Christine could carry Herself; handle any situation. And She was frazzled
I’ll never forget him. He was tall and wiry with black wavy hair a dark cocaine crazed eyes and an air of desperation. At first it was fine. We spent two hours with him pouring over photo albums of him and the Girl that had left him. The love of his life. Seemed like he just wanted company while he cried in his proverbial beer. They had been swingers and after a few years, She started to get jealous. She wanted to stop the swinging, and he agreed. But it was too late. Something in Her mind had been done which couldn’t be undone. Couldn’t be taken back. It was over for Her and She left him. He would never get over it. His story moved Me. Had a profound effect on Me. And would shape the way I saw life and relationships later.
But that’s not what you want to hear – is it? You want to hear the gory details and I’ll not spare you.
So, after we talked for what seemed like hours he said I want you to dominate me. We went in his bedroom and he lied on the bed. I went to his closet and took out some of his neck ties and used them to tie him to the bed. I changed into lingerie, a garter belt and stockings, and then just stood there and stared at him. I didn’t know what the fuck to do. I was completely clueless. He looked at Me and said “Well, dominate me”. I stood motionless. Then he started to lung the top half of his body towards me, biting the air like a rabid dog. “I don’t think I’m tied up tightly enough. I think I could get loose” he said, “clack, clack” all the time biting at the air.
And while I didn’t know much about domination, I knew a slave could “turn on you”. This is when a slave “switches” roles and tries to dominate you. It’s very bad and can often end in violence. This flashed through My head. This I knew. My instinct was to throw on My clothes and run the fuck out. Bad instinct.
No sooner did I have but barely a pants leg on and he was loose and he was after Me. I ran to lock Myself in the bathroom. It was one of those New York, big, old, upper west side apartments that had been painted over so many times that the paint was actually so thick, that the door didn’t close anymore. I’m in the bathroom and the door won’t even close! I try bracing My body against it to keep him out. But it’s to late. He pushes the door in easily and grabs Me, his arms under mine and around My chest he picks Me up like a rag doll and drags Me to his bedroom kicking and screaming. He throws Me down on the bed and get on top of Me. He’s naked, but he’s done so much coke that he wouldn’t be able to rape Me. Couldn’t get it up – I knew that. But he could kill Me.
Suddenly, a different instinct kicked in. I always kept My nails long and manicured. They were sharp. So I grabbed his balls tightly with My nails as tight as I could and twisted them all the way around and said “Get the fuck off Me or I’ll rip them off your body”
His face immediately changed and he became completely submissive. He knew I was in control and it soothed him. He got off Me and I wound up staying another 4 hours without a problem. We had a great time and I would see him many times after that. And that was My first SM session. For most people, it would be there last. But not Me. I wasn’t like other people. I had no fear. Wasn’t capable of it.